Please Pass the Lipitor

On a recent trip to the great state of Florida it shouldn’t surprise you to know that I ate.

It  also shouldn’t come as a surprise that what was eaten was fried, came with a side dish or two that were also fried, and that I washed it all down with the champagne of the South–sweet tea. I pretty much consumed a variation on this theme for the entire week.

Now, before y’all start gettin all judgie-wudgie, let me just say that I was channelling my inner Paula Deen.  I was in a part of the country where you can order food like this and nobody’s gonna give you the stink eye.  In fact, had I ordered something “healthier” (i.e veggies, fruits, grains–basically anything from the lower section of the food pyramid), it might’ve been considered an insult to the chef.  The grouper, shrimp and oysters were to die for and the hush puppies are so tender it’s criminal.

I realize that poor Paula is having her share of health/celebrity/diabetic/hypocrite issues and my heart goes out to her.  My southern-fried cholesterol-laden heart.  We all have to pay the piper eventually–I will likely be on a strict diet of Benecol, Cheerios and statin drugs for the rest of my life.

Can I get cocktail sauce to go with that?

MARTHA’S NOTE
Today is National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day.  In honor of this occasion we suggest that you dip your PB&J in pancake batter, fry it up and dust it with powered sugar. Do it for Paula. You can start your “oatmeal only” diet tomorrow.

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7 Responses to Please Pass the Lipitor

  1. You had me at judgie-wudgie. And stink-eye. And criminal hush-puppies…

  2. WSW says:

    You should be OK so long as you stay out of the Midwest. After three days there, your bowels would be full of cement, your teeth would be loose and you’d be jonesing for a fresh vegetable so severely that you’d suck on a lawnmower bag. You don’t want to ask how I know this.

    • seejaytoo says:

      Have been on a detox diet since my return from the feeding frenzy…red wine to combat the arterial clogging and a fistful of Zyrtec to combat seasonal allergies. So much nicer than a high colonic of grass clippings…

    • Have you been to a midwest State Fair ? Everything is deep fried and/or dipped in chocolate- and on a stick. Bacon, twinkies, even green beans (“There’s vitamins in those beans – quick, fry ‘em !” )

  3. Hey – I love oatmeal !! ( …sprinkled with a handful of chocolate chips, all melty and my mug of coffee….)
    You are hysterical !

    • If you gotta have bloatmeal, that’s the way to go! But even I know enough to stay away from deep fried, bacon wrapped Twinkies on a stick…that’s the Bomb! Thanks for stopping by…

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